Possible Clues:

• If I had been the leader, that just would not have worked
• Stayed still
• I'd been usher, then sat back
• How I would have been in command without having done much about it
• Hung around
• Puttered around
• Waited for the green
• I had been the boss, but had little to do with it
• Had nothing to do in paid ledgers
• Ran but got nowhere