Possible Clues:

• Cricketers who need corkscrews?
• Church keys
• Writer getting terribly sore about certain batsmen
• Batsmen making duck at Lord's, a number being caught
• Some cricketers love being at Lords about end of season
• No peers ordered starters
• They're the very first to be bats
• They'd never get close enough to see porn here
• They are useful for tinned food
• Seems you'd never get close for them